If I were the Prince of Darkness, I'd want to engulf the whole world in darkness. And I'd have a third of its real estate and have four fifths of its population, but I wouldn't be happy until I seized the ripest apple on the tree. So I'd set about however necessary to take over the United States of America.

I'd subvert the churches first. I'd begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent I would whisper to you an I whispered to Eve, "Do as you please" To the young I would whisper that the Bible is a myth. I would convince them that man created God instead of the other way around. I would confide that what's bad is good and that what's good is...square. And the old, I would teach to pray, after me, "Our Father, who art in Washington..."

And then I'd get organized. I'd educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting, so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. I'd threaten TV with dirtier movies, and threaten the movies with dirtier TV. I'd peddle narcotics to whom I could; I'd sell alcohol to. ladies and gentlemen of distinction. I'd tranquilize the rest with pills.

If I were the devil, I'd soon have families at war with themselves, churches at war with themselves, and nations at war with themselves, until each in its turn was consumed And with promises of higher ratings, I'd have mermerizing media fanning the flames.

If I were the devil, I'd encourage schools to refine young intellects but neglect to discipline emotions--just let those run wild. Until before you knew it, you would have to have drug-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door. Within a decade, I'd have prisons overflowing. I'd have judges promoting pornography. Soon I could evict God from the courthouse, then from the schoolhouse, and then from the houses of Congress.

And in his own churches, I'd substitute psychology for religion and deify science. I would lure preachers and pastors into misusing boys and girls and church money. If I were the devil I'd make the symbol of Easter an egg, and the symbol of Christmas a bottle.

I would caution against extremes--in hard work, in patriotism, in moral conduct. I would convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that casual sex with many partners is more fun and that what you see on TV is the way to be. And thus I could undress you in public, and could lure you into bed with disease for which there in no cure.

In other words, if I were the Devil, I'd just keep right on doing what I am doing! by Paul Harvey, March 1993